Your Mouth is Wine
by Khaleesi95
Summary: Loki steals kisses from the only person he wants but can never have: his brother. Sometimes it looks like an accident, sometimes magic is involved, and sometimes Thor doesn't know what is happening. (I suck at summaries. Warnings inside.)


Warnings: slash (nothing explicit as you can tell from the rating), incest (the story is set before the first Thor film, so both Loki and Thor believe that they are brothers; once again, nothing explicit), slight somnophilia (don't worry, it's really slight).

English is not my native language, so there might be some mistakes.

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><p><em>-Even so, Loki felt no rancor at this point in his life - his stepbrother was perfect: beautiful, powerful, golden. He adored him. And if Thor repaid that adoration with little slights and humiliations, it was a price Loki was only too willing to pay for his company.<em>

_-Loki looks up at him, at Thor, at all that beauty and perfection, those golden shoulders, and says, I would do it again..._

_From **Blood Brothers - Synopsis**_

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><p>The first time it happens, it is supposed to be innocent. Well, to be more accurate, it is supposed to <em>appear<em> innocent.

And so it does.

They are still young. Not children anymore, but not adults either. Thor is beautiful. Loki knows that he should not feel that way about his brother, but he simply cannot help it. By the Norns, he finds his brother a sight more than simply pleasing to the eye. He considers his brother to be a piece of art.

He craves Thor's touch like a man in the desert craves water. He needs Thor's touch to feel alive. It can be anything, it doesn't really matter; a pat on the shoulder, a hand on his back, a hand on the back of his neck, fingers running through his raven hair, an embrace. He loves feeling Thor's soft lips on his cold skin, although many a time he has wished that those lips would find their place on other areas of his lean body.

They are in Frigga's lovely gardens. Surrounded by so many colours and the scent of all those flowers, Loki feels completely relaxed, losing himself in his book. Thor, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be able to sit in one place for more than a minute. He walks to and fro, apparently looking for something to occupy himself with. Loki steals short glances of him occasionally, when the golden-haired man is not looking at him. He seems even lovelier with the light of the sun bathing his skin. Loki wants to sigh. Loki wants to weep at all this beauty. But above all, he wants Thor to be his.

The aforementioned man approaches Loki and sits down next to him. Loki pays him no mind, although he feels happy now that his brother is finally by his side instead of pacing all around.

"What are you reading?" Thor asks.

"A book," Loki answers, sounding bored but secretly feeling content that his brother has his attention focused on him.

"Yes, I can see that, I mean...Why don't you stop reading and we go and do something fun?"

"I'm reading, Thor."

"Oh, come on," Thor whines and starts tickling him. Loki slaps his big hands using the book with an air of irritation, even though he actually loves having those fingers on his person.

"Come on, Loki," Thor insists, sounding like a little child. A spoiled child, no doubt. "You read all the time. Let's do something together, brother."

Those words make warmth enter Loki's heart. He is not certain whether it is the fact that Thor so dearly wants the two of them to do something together or if it is the way he says the word 'brother'; perhaps it is both. He prevents a smile from appearing on his pale face and doesn't even take his eyes off his book as he says, "All right, you oaf, I'm almost done."

From the corner of his eye, Loki can see Thor's face light up and a big smile cross his lovely features. He knows what is coming next and, being the Trickster that he is, he uses it to his own advantage.

Thor means to kiss him on the cheek as way of showing his gratitude to his little brother's indulgence. In just the right moment, Loki turns his head so that Thor's lips meet his own instead of the intended place.

For a few delicious heartbeats, their lips remain locked in an unintentional (from the one side) kiss. Loki has never before known as much bliss as in that moment. Thor's lips are touching his as the sun is touching their skin and the flowers around them are in blooming. Although the kiss is an accident, it is actually rather romantic.

Thor does pull away of course, eventually. Loki manages not to whimper at the loss. Thor seems a little awkward and embarrassed at first, but he quickly brushes it off. He doesn't take it seriously (Loki hasn't expected him to), he jokes about it, and tells him to finish the book so that they can enjoy the rest of the brilliant, sunny day actually doing something.

Loki pretends that he feels the same way as Thor does. Just a stupid little thing, a silly mistake, wrong timing. Not important. Nothing to worry about.

He can still taste Thor when he licks his lips.

They don't talk about the incident during that day. They don't talk about the incident at all, ever. It is as though it has never happened. And yet, it is something real, a memory that Loki holds dear and can never (and will never) cast out of his head.

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><p>The second time comes many years after the first. Thor, impatient and arrogant, keeps looking for pleasures in cups of mead and in the cunts of maidens. Loki knows that he has been intimate with many women, but he tries not to think about it too much because it pains him. Instead, he prefers imagining himself writhing underneath the Thunderer's strong and muscular body, panting and moaning, screaming that sacred name as he comes with his brother's cock buried deep inside him.<p>

He knows that it is wrong. Not because Thor is a man, but because Thor is his brother. It is unnatural. Surely the people of Asgard would frown upon something like that. What would Odin and Frigga say? How would Thor react?

Loki knows that he will never have his brother the way he wants to. Thor is not as sick as he is; and, besides, he is not attracted to men.

So, the second time, Loki uses his powers. He transforms into a beautiful young maiden with long black hair almost reaching his (well, her) waist and bright emerald eyes. In spite of that and the fact that his new form has pale skin, he no longer looks like himself. No one at the feast recognises him, not even Thor who knows him best of all.

Thor is drunk, but not too drunk. He notices the female Loki and approaches.

Loki has to admit to himself that Thor is not really that good at seducing women. He has never been good with words any way. He supposes that what draws all those women to him is his appearance. And his strength. And his courage. And...Loki could make a long list.

Thor eventually kisses his female form, and Loki feels it as if he has not conjured a spell to make him not be him. Thor's lips are exactly like he remembers, except that now they are moving with a purpose and they are experienced. His protective arms around the transformed body keep Loki in place, or else his knees would have given out under him by now.

His heart begins to beat faster as Thor's tongue enters the cave of his mouth, tasting and exploring. It's like his heart is trying to escape his ribcage, to jump out of his chest (well, the breasts he has now formed) and surrender itself to Thor. Loki would be fine with that.

He thinks that his heart might burst as he thinks of what will most likely follow. A part of him doesn't want his first time to be in a body that isn't his, but another part of him doesn't care at all as long as Thor is his lover.

But what he hopes for does not come to pass. Thor does not take him (her, in his electric, blue eyes) to his chamber. He only looks at the creature he has been kissing; there is sadness as strokes the black hair and his gaze meets the green eyes.

"I can't do this," he whispers.

He abandons Loki with no explanation. He even leaves the feast. Loki waits for him, but he never returns.

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><p>It takes a long time for the third time to come.<p>

Thor has avoided Loki for a while after the incident at the feast. When Loki finally manages to talk to Thor and confront him about it, Thor tells him that he is being ridiculous, but his voice reveals that he is, in fact, avoiding him but has apparently not been very good at it.

And that leaves Loki wondering. Could his brother have seen through his illusion somehow? But how? Loki has fooled Thor many times, sending him clones of himself, using illusions. Why would he fail this time? How?

He remembers the sadness on Thor's handsome face. Stroking Loki's hair, looking into Loki's eyes, and being so sorrowful.

Could it be because of those similarities in characteristics? Thor could not know the maiden carnally because of a certain resemblance to Loki?

But no. That makes no sense. There are other Asgardian women with hair the colour of ebony and eyes the colour of grass. What made Thor sad? What made Thor stop?

The opportunity for a third kiss arises while Thor is still trying to avoid Loki.

The great Thunderer bursts into his chamber, and he is clearly quite drunk. There has been a feast going on, but Loki has preferred the quiet of his room and the comfort of his books. Besides, there would be no point attending if the only person that makes those celebrations more bearable does not even speak to him.

Thor slurs his words, but Loki manages to understand them: Thor has mistaken his room for his own. Instead of turning back and leaving, however, he unceremoniously falls on the Trickster's bed and falls asleep instantly.

Loki has the sinister urge to wake him by shaking him violently and yelling at him. But he can't do that. Even though he would like to have his bed for himself, he knows that his brother needs rest. Besides, this is the closest the two of them have been ever since that confusing second kiss.

So, Loki chooses to remain silent and gaze at his brother instead. A barely audible sigh leaves Thor's parted lips, and with that small, unconscious sound, he has all of Loki's attention on himself. The Liesmith leaves his book on the side and focuses his emerald eyes on his brother. He still finds him the most beautiful creature that he has ever had the fortune of gazing upon, with his sun-kissed skin, his golden hair framing a face with strong noble lines, now softened in his sleep. It is the face of the future king.

The thought leaves Loki bitter, but he manages to push that aside and concentrate on the moment. An irrational and overwhelming impulse rises inside him, and he reaches out to trace the contours of his brother's face with the pad of his fingers. It's innocent at first; he strokes his forehead, his cheek, his jaw, the light stubble.

But the impulse grows even more irrational. Loki's eyes move to Thor's lips. This is wrong, he knows. Thor is his brother and, besides, this is very close to invasion of privacy.

And yet, his fingers brush against Thor's lips. They are soft, as they have always been, which is a surprise as everything about Thor's physique is anything but soft. Like all Asgard's finest, Thor has learned the hard way on the training grounds. And yet this part of him, this irresistible and delicious part of him, is soft.

Before he knows what he is doing, Loki is stealing a third kiss from Thor. It is very brief, for he is afraid that his brother might wake up. But, fortunately, he does not. Loki looks at the Thunderer, taking in the relaxed, serene, oblivious expression on his lovely face. And all of a sudden, fury rises inside him like a phoenix rising from his own ashes. He is angry with himself for doing this, but mostly he is angry with Thor for being asleep, for being indifferent.

He grasps his big brother by his tunic, pulling him closer to himself, and kisses him again. It is different this time, almost violent. Thor's lips are pliant and open under his, and when Loki finds the courage to push his tongue past them, he tastes mead but also something else, something sweeter. This is how Thor tastes like, he realises.

He pulls away when reason finally returns to him. Thor is his brother. And not only that, but he is taking something from him against his will. Thor is asleep, technically unconscious. How can Loki do something as monstrous to the person he loves more than anything?

He releases his hold on Thor's tunic and begins to tremble. He doesn't want to think what might have happened if he hadn't come to his right mind. Surely he would not take this too far, he hopes. He is not so certain, though.

He manages to take himself to the wash basin. He splashes cold water on his face, all the while still trembling.

When he is done, he sits on the bed. He looks again at Thor, who has not reacted at all, who does not have the slightest idea of what has just transpired.

Loki leaves the bed and lies on the floor instead. He simply cannot be so close to his brother. Will he be able to control himself? Or will he do something that he will regret? Thor is a temptation.

When Thor wakes up in the morning, Loki is already awake. He has barely slept all night, thinking of what he has done, feeling guilty for his actions but mostly feeling guilty because he has enjoyed them.

A grimace reveals that Thor is suffering from a rather nasty headache. He looks around, blinking a little rapidly. Surely he recognises that this is not his room. "Where am I?" he asks the air; he has not yet noticed that he is not alone.

"In my chamber," Loki, sitting on the floor, provides him with the answer.

Thor's head snaps as he turns to him. He is clearly shocked to find his little brother there. "Loki," he whispers. "I...I do not understand."

"Oh, it's rather simple. You had too much to drink last night and stumbled into my room, believing that it was yours. You oaf."

Loki hopes that if he speaks to Thor the way he usually does, the Thunderer will not be able to understand that something is wrong. Something wrong with him; something wrong inside his head. And his heart.

Thor looks...something close to afraid. Loki has seen his brother face beasts without the slightest hint of fear; what is this? What is happening?

"Did I..." Thor pauses, seemingly unable to finish his sentence - out of fear of what the answer might be. "Did I do something to you?"

A small laugh escapes Loki's lying lips. "Like what, rape me?" he jests. He supposes that he came close to doing that (no, he tells himself, you would never do that to him) but it is actually funny to think of their roles reversed.

Thor does not join him in laughing. He still looks scared, and that sobers Loki up. What, in the name of Idunn, is going on?

"Nothing happened," he assures his brother, lies dripping from his lips like venom once again.

Thor lets out a breath (has he been holding it all this time?) and looks relieved. "Thank the Norns," he whispers.

Loki hears that and raises an eyebrow. "Thor, what is it?" he asks, slowly, considerately, even though his curiosity has begun to eat at his insides.

"I...I cannot tell you, brother."

"Come on, Thor, you can tell me everything." Thor has always shared his secrets with Loki, and Loki would coax the truth out of him if he ever was reluctant to confide in his little brother.

"You will hate me if I tell you." Thor seems to be embarrassed. He can barely even hold Loki's gaze with his own.

"I doubt that I could ever hate you."

Thor sighs, surrendering. He looks down and bites his lower lip (Loki remembers the softness and wants to hit himself) before making his confession. "I was afraid I might have done something to you during the night...because, as I was drunk, I would have no control over myself and I might have...acted upon my feelings."

Loki, the Silver-Tongued Prince, the one who always has a witty answer to everything, finds himself more confused than ever. "Thor, what are you saying?" he asks.

"I...I have feelings for you, brother. Feelings that are not right between siblings...Norns know I've tried to get over this by bedding maidens, but I have failed."

Loki suddenly remembers that Thor has bedded a lot of women - with hair blond, red, or even brown, but never black. Never black, like the maiden's he transformed himself into. Never black like his own.

"Can you forget I ever told you this?" Thor asks.

"No."

Thor dares look up at him. He looks so vulnerable, so powerless. Loki hates it. His brother is a beacon of light, an inexhaustible source of strength. His brother is his anchor. He can't see him like this.

"No," Loki repeats. "I can't ever forget about it. I _don't want_ to forget about it."

Thoughts swarm his head like flies buzzing around a corpse. Thor feels the same way as he does. All those stolen kisses have been unnecessary; they could have spent all their lives kissing each other if they had found the courage to speak from their hearts.

Loki joins his brother on the bed, and the latter moves away a little - but he really can't get all that far without leaving the bed, and so the distance between them is not so great. Loki wants to stroke his brother's cheek; he wants Thor to feel his touch this time. And he wants Thor to hold him.

"I feel the same," Loki finally admits.

Thor looks surprised. Then he looks suspicious - his brother is the Trickster after all, so he might be merely teasing him. However, what he finds in Loki's forest green eyes convince him otherwise. He relaxes as if a great weight has been lifted off his broad shoulders.

"You do?"

"I do."

The fourth kiss is not stolen. It is intentional and given freely by both parties. And it is followed by many more.


End file.
